You said I didn't choose you
But you never made myself a choice
Your compliance and manners
Made you a personified trap
I was arrested for what I was given permission to do
You say I didn't choose you.
Did you stand on the chopping block
And say me or him?
Or did you play a good guy
And just pretend to be my partner?
Say the things you thought you should say
Like a movie script
Denying your truth
Did you set me up to fail
When i came to you open and real?
Asking you
was choosing you
Here I thought I was safe to allow myself
To tap into emotions I had numbed
So I could feel them
And release them
Allowing space to grow closer to you
But the whole time you were testing me
Amd keeping a score.
You had me.
YOU HAD ME.
And you didn't believe you were worthy.
So you let me go
You watered down my growth
You starved my attempt to connect
You withheld your care and affection
You stop being mine
Self sabotage should be a crime.
A punishable offense.
Maybe it was really you
Not choosing you.
Maybe it had nothing
to do with me.
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