Monday, June 30, 2025

4 years (closure)

Starting over is such a foreign concept

And yet it's a worn in pair of jeans 

kept in the closet till they fit again.

A bike you haven't rode since high-school 

I'm reminded of you every day.

Each time feels like a razor 

drag across the flesh 

A cigarette burn into the bone 

A whip striking the skin of my heart 

You say nothing 

You leave for your day and stay away 

Like you never belonged with us 

Sometimes i think I made you up. 

I spend hours fantasizing about your return

Throwing rocks on my window

Movie scene style 

I open the door 

and we burst into savage love making....

Or

You Message that you're finally ready to talk.

And when we do 

you tell me that you need more 

 That what we had wasn't enough anymore

So I hold you 

and tell you I'm broken 

but ill heal in time and be happy for you....

Or

You walk by while I'm smoking at night 

I ask you to join 

and we catch up and laugh 

Play connections 

And feel hopeful about being friends.....

Honestly, any of those options is appealing

Because at least I would know 

How you feel 

What you want 

How to move forward 

Then I wouldnt be scared to ground outside

Or walk to my car after lunch

I wouldn't hold my breath 

Everytime I pull into the bay 

Or flinch at every red car 

I wouldn't stay up at night listening 

For the sound of the key in the door.

Silence is the most treacherous torture.

If you ever really loved me.

How could you kill me like this? 

How can you say nothing

To the woman you said you loved? 





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