the definition of insanity (battle zone)

I repeat the same words

till they're just mush in my mouth

I spit them at your feet

the door says pull but you push

This comfortable love

is suffocating me

I scream but there is no voice left.

I just want to be important.

on the tip of your tongue

I want to melt like sugar

I want to you to dive in

A swimming pool of mystery depths

dangerous at times

but calm on the surface

My mind wanders too far

I long to be conquered like a battle

a war

a message in a bottle

smashed and trashed

and too blurry

words never said

a tragedy of sorts

but I wouldn't want your eyes to see my lies,

not if you didn't completely

want them.

This is the definition of insanity.

 

 

An Honest Lie

I'm an honest lie

but it's not my fault.

I am a product of ruined lives.

of torched dreams.

And dead end schemes.

The offspring of a bitch

and a drunk.

I never learned how to love.

A whore in sheep's clothing,

only you'd never know.

I keep it underground.

A part of me

I never show.

 

 

 

Childish days

i'm on the ground

already dead

but decay won't come easy

lightening strikes hard

rapes the sky 

bleeds the stars

i tried to be brave once

but it made my mother resent me

And she turned her back towards me,

fled the country

but i only wanted love  

i only wanted what wasn't there

the lacking bit

of my youth  

the strange sense of longing

that only the dark could enhance

wrapped in my bedding

struggling to find sleep 

in the cold bath tub,

i would ask god why.

never an answer.

only a sunrise,

only another day 

to fill with lies.