Kintsugi (fair weathered friend)

I am a frantic girl

An eyelash on the dash 

You kissed me hard

In a public place

But oh how you’ve betrayed me,

My fair weathered friend. 

One day a soul shall seek my ghost

And my children’s children will tell my tale 

How my heart was too smashed 

How my crazy turned to stone 

And all that once made me special 

Just made me unstable 

Missing a leg

A useless table

A yard sale fail

My grandmother told me once

That all my scars would make me beautiful. 

Like a Japanese vase 

Patched with gold 

Healed with love

For there is a bee for every flower

But she was just a fair weathered gal

Another fish in the barrel 

Another muddy trail. 

Written October 28th 2018

A list (Child’s play)

A list of all you do 

Cuz I forgot 

all the things you bought 

Guess J Lo got it wrong 

throw it in my face 

like a lemon meringue pie 

but I won’t break 

like a clown 

or a Ferris wheel broke down 

too much chewing gum in the gears 

you say you love me 

and take it back 

I can prove it 

I have a list 

I kept track 

Cuz my love is not child’s play 

but you gamble it anyway 

I don’t just say it 

I mean it

like a kid out at recess

there is no going back

Written June 21, 2018

Under the sink..... anyways

I’m such a pathetic woman 

A fool in a ball gown 

One foot in the gutter

One foot in my mouth 

Please don’t tell me i’m better than this 

A child telling the truth 

Stick her in the corner 

Spank her anyways 

There is always a price 

And I will always be this way 

I will always look my shooter in the face 

And I will never flinch 

I will never tell the truth....

Spank her anyways 

Written Jan 30th 2018

Dummy

Silence can be kept in line 

And we don’t cross those. 

We keep them in our pockets

Like unfinished sentences

Misread marriage vows

The wrong name at the wrong time 

I’m such a child at life

Too new

Too raw

Looking at eclipses eagerly

Diving into pools in the dark

Why has the world let me be so dumb?

An Epiphany 34 Years in the making 

A fools handbook left on a train

Using it’s open pages as 

shelter from the rain

I spell it out in capital letters 

And you act blind as fuck

Yeah I made my bed

So I lie in it 

But I’m always thinking of you. 

I’m always keeping your side neat 

No wrinkles in these sheets 

No blood left in these veins

Written Jan 21st 2018