Ideas (I'm in love)

I am in love

with an idea.

That one day

I will find you.

After a thousand years

I will rise.

The space in this void

will eat itself

and I will be full.

Of what?

I don't know.

But these wounds

they speak to me.

They tell me

to be very still.

Girl you are walking

a thin thin line.

Kiss the boys

and make them cry.

I'm in love

with an idea.

Deny, deny, deny.....

-Written November 16th, 2011 (right now)

I was Raped....

I was raped

and fed to sharks

and hung out to dry,

twice in 1975.

The year of transaction and color installation.

So touch me where I'm not all there

and heal the wounds you're

responsible for.

Ice cream is cheaper in a cone

the feeling is coming straight

through the phone

and C.C is obsessed with me.

Can't escape

my black fate

and my cookies are

the best.

-Written 2001

I'm a walking disease 2

She says I dress like a sexpot.

Rude, improper, unsatisfactory.

I have my father's habits.

Deadbeat, disaster, unsatisfactory.

My clothes are "passe"

and I'm mentally ill.

I have scars on my wrists

 and I went on the pill.

In the eyes of my mother,

unsatisfactory.

I'm a walking disease

so get down on your knees

and praise the ground I walk on.

I'm a walking disease

and it's burned in my brain

not much I can do,

I'm genetically insane.

The spawn of an alcoholic

and a freak.

Cursed from the moment I was conceived

and in the eyes of my mother.

A failure, a disgrace...

A walking disease.

-Written December 21st, 2006

I'm a walking disease.

The bottom of my feet are dirty.

Muddy, stinky, unsatisfactory.

The palms of my hands are sweaty.

Humid, rancid, unsatisfactory.

There's stains on my t-shirt,

a hole in one sock.

My shoelaces are broken

and my hair is in a knot.

In the eyes of my mother,

Unsatisfactory.

I'm a walking disease,

get down on your knees

and praise the ground I walk on.

I'm a walking disease,

a super slutty tease,

unless you say "Please"

But in the eyes of my mother,

A disgrace, a failure...

A walking disease.

-Written December 14th 2006

I love incest

I got my heart broken

on a Sunday night.

I got tangled on the way down

and hung in the sky,

while the rest of the world

past me by.

It should be easy

to tolerate this pain,

this old friend that comes

as often as the rain.

But it just seems to grow bigger

and bigger until there's nothing

but this giant stain

that we just can't ignore...

anymore.

-Written Jan. 29th 2007

Insomnia ///

They pumped my stomach.

I foam at the mouth.

I can't fathom

the risen from the rising.

I am guarding this pearl,

this beauty, this gift.

I am keeping this angel

from breathing.

-Written Jan 26th 2006

Eternal Burning

The rocket I'm on is going

straight to Hell

and I'm the only passenger.

On a one way trip

to the boiling sea.

The pond of eternal burning,

the fire red star.

Ans it's all me fault...

I just should of worn a bra.

-Written August 8th, 2000

Mort

Strip me down to nothing,

bare my soul and all that's "me".

All the trash that's been poured inside

and left to rot and swell,

release it.

I'm not a skeleton

you can drag around to suit your needs,

to complete your deeds,

to plant your seeds.

How can I explain that this hunger

needs to be fed?

That my mind is a bunch

of scattered bricks

and that this whole time

I've been screaming for help,

screaming for reason,

screaming for God,

screaming for answers

that for reasons unknown

elude me?

Keep me in the dark

with nothing but my bones

to keep me warm

at night.

Written December 4th, 2006

October of youth.

Sorry about the lack of posts on here but I was on Vacation and now I'm back.

--------------------------------------------

In a simple world of tragedy,

I'm awake.

Help me sleep.

Give me peace.

Why'd you let me go?

Seasons of change wrap me up.

I fear I will never have that chance

again,

that October of youth.

Have I erased that?

Wasted that?

Have I screwed everything up?

-Written June 22nd 2005

Excuse Me

Excuse me

but can I have your full attention.

You've left quite a big

impression

on me.

Getting off in the

Catholic church confessional booth,

and he tells me I'm no good

for him.

But there's beauty in my words

if you're smart enough to see it.

Just don't believe it.

Fuck your morals

and your out dated thoughts.

I want a green dog

named Summer and I wanna

take it for walks.

I want to feel like you love me

every minute of every day.

I want to tell you I'm sorry

and I want you to stay.

But I shut my mouth tight

I don't utter a single syllable

of my confession.

I swallow them

and gather them up

and spit them out

like unwanted trash.

So excuse me love

but can I have

your full attention

You've left quite

a big impression

on me

But that's the way it goes

and sadly, breaking hearts

is easier than it seems.

-Written 2001

Solution Number One: Aquarius Style

"Hello Aquarius",

said Miss Good Girl

with a smile.

I couldn't help but notice

you've been running

in the wrong direction

mile after mile

but don't fret, fear,

or swallow your tongue

for I kneel before you

with more than just my gun.

I have in my possession

a solution

a peanut butter

teacup silent mutter

and through broken windows

I see the truth.

Push the reason into the closet

and lock it tight

for I fear I've grown

far too light.

I might leave you here

with my mess.

I miss my barefoot days,

lost among the winds of change

and as I stand here

bare feet,

hair blowing,

eyes open wide.

I realize you just drove away

and another good girl is left

with nothing to say.

-Written July 2000

Glory Days

The carpet is dirty.

Ssshhh...I got me

some young blood.

You say I'm the prettiest girl

in the room

And I laugh in your face.

Sorry but you found

the bitch in me.

Gimmie a bone

and send me on my way

because I can sit

but I can't stay.

But I'm alive again tonight.

And I'm the prettiest girl

in the room...

Apparently the glory days

never end.

Or something like that.

-Written September 24th 2011

Brave Beast

You've awakened a beast.
A beauty of sorts.
She sits on my shoulder and whispers about men.
And things I dare not speak of.
She is not clean like me
But she is brave.
My heart beats like a mad man.
My thighs ache and burn with need.
Cool this fire,
These flames,
This heat
And make me brave again.

-written August 13th, 2007

Fleeting

She watches as I sing,

innocently sweetening in the sun.

I long for the black curve

against my breast.

The sting of strings,

the raw rhythm

of a love song gone wrong.

I wish I could

tell you these things.

Taste your mouth

with my mouth

but burning down houses

would only leave me with ashes.

And what good are ashes

when the ground remembers

all of my sins?

-Written May 20th 2008

Rapture

Smiles smash as easy as pie

and when I fall

I fall hard, baby.

You're gonna break me,

this I know.

I've been through this love chaos.

This lust at first sight.

I'll believe you've been sent

to save me.

I'll take you as my saviour

but in reality

you'll only stir up sickness.

The sickness I've killed and buried

With thousands and thousands

of pills.

You'll melt the ice that's harden

these eyes and clouded up this

atmosphere.

I'm desperate to escape

but baby you won't help me.

You'll only break me

smash this smile

crush this spirit

You will be the death

of me.

-Written December 27th 2006

Class Act -- Part Two

I was five finger discounting

with my cousin

in style

but all I could think about was you

even when I saw this sexy guy

playing pool

all I could think was

"Mike's better."

and it's weird

you've actually made church

a fun place

but smoking is causing me to have

heart attacks

better quit before I'm beat less

and then I was sitting with Jewel

talking to some guy

about my poetry

and how one day

I'll be famous

and now I'm alone

at McDonald's

looking at a painting

searching for a signature

and not finding one

today was just like a class act

part two

tiring and too dangerous

for my health.

-Written March 29th 2000

Class Act - Part One

I've had no big sister to imitate

no script to read

no words to memorize

my life is improvised every minute of every day

but the problem is

I'm running out of things to say

I know this may sound weird

but I don't know how to live

Instead of choosing a path

why not close your eyes

and let the direction come to you

left, right

up, down

back around

it's all the same to me

Life is just one big long

unrehearsed play

that always ends suddenly

before you can hear

an applause.

-Written March 23rd 2000

Happy **

Life's a mystery.

Just when you're slipping

on your own words,

an angel swoops down

from the Heavens

and balances you out.

No strings attached.

(at least I hope not)

Today was the best day

of my life.

-Written January 26th 2000

<-- Both Ends -->

I burn at both ends

I kill myself again and again

till only my bones remain

and you bang them around

like trash

like shit

the night pours itself down the drain

choking all the stars

goodnight he says

I don't complain

my eyes close on this world.

-Written August 9th, 2007

Rise

When I was seventeen

I cut myself periodically.

I keep scrubbing these hands

And I'm beginning to see that

they'll never be clean

And all the words you spit out

remain unseen.

They float upwards

as soon as they leave your tongue,

bound for Mars,

past the trees,

beyond the stars

And no one knows

what the stains are

on my living room floor.

Except me and my wrists

but they're not my friends anymore.

They're always weeping,

never at peace

but God doesn't it feel good

to be alive?

I'm knee deep in spiritual waste

but hey that's okay.

I've never felt more awake.

I woke up

from my coma

today.

-Written December 25th 2006

http://www.etsy.com/listing/73171407/she-loves-to-hide-original-oil-painting

A Super Chilly Day

Once when I was walking

I spotted you,

A super chilly day.

Your eyes like icicles.

Your toes all curled up.

You asked me how to get to

"Easy street".

I answered,

"Get a job".

You laughed.

I like your sense of humor.

I said,

"Tell me three things".

And you answered,

"The night is deceiving.

The ocean is always calm

and darling, sweetheart

I've never been this cold".

-Written Early 2003

Epiphany

dropped in drool

a pancake on display

flattened by absolution

frightened by decay

an anchor tugs me down

chained to the ground

where I lay

we're desperately scrubbing

the sin from our skin

we're sinking in this wretched

souring

this epiphany

this curse.

-Written September 28th 2006

Simplest Form

Chilled to the bone,

a magical metaphor.

A summer's eve on a winter's day.

A dying dream that won't go away

but only because we beg it to stay.

So like a dog it sits and waits

Anticipation in the simplest form.

Lipstick smears on the back of a dress

makes our minds swim with sin.

Take it somewhere private

and squeeze it till it bleeds.

Rip it to the core.

Trace it with your lips,

rub it with your hands

but when you're done

leave it be.

Let it drag itself home.

Anticipation in the simplest form.

-Written January 9th 2007

Painting Anticipation by Pino

Just Dust

I've closed that window many times

but open it remains

and these empty bones

are what I call home.

They've shifted shapes as I've grown

but still they are my own

and that's all I need.

It's better to be empty

than full of shit,

I think.

And it's in this empty room

I sit.

And soak up the silence and the bliss.

Truth is a beautiful fatality

A semi-precious slap in the face

that sometimes we all need

like empty bones to call home.

Empty bones to breathe.

-Written Right now as I was trying to sleep (which I'm still not doing )  :(

For Sophia*

My sister Sophia hurts like a dream

a bee stinging scream

and I am the rain that washes her clean

and keeps her brain sane.

Us girls that wear our hearts on our sleeves,

we have a disease.

We are weak in the knees.

We've left pieces of our hearts

scattered through out this town

and there's barley any left.

Are you going to help us up,

or push us down?

Anythings got to be better

than wearing a tattooed frown

or being a princess with an invisible crown.

We know who we are

but we can't make a sound.

We are soeurs till the end

till we perish or drowned.

-Written February 19th, 2007

Fish Food

Just once I wish I could be

without this yearning

the calling for what...

I don't know.

But it always gnaws away 

at my stomach

like a minnow eating a corpse

this heart is ticking, ticking, ticking

like a bomb

a sudden explosion

I can't explain

I say over and over again

a tiresome excuse

or a load of shit...

I don't know.

Just a little minnow

a tiny hungry minnow

with no where to go.

-Written September 2nd 2011

http://society6.com/trishathompson/A-Dream-My-Father-the-Minnow_Print