Slice of Pie

I am a different woman

with every man.

You think you know me,

think again.

You know 1/8 of this pie

but that should keep you

satisfied.

That should fill you up.

I am not much for compromise

I've learned to live with no regret.

Most the time, I'm half alive.

I live mostly in my head.

Sometimes I wonder

how this came to be.

Flying South all by myself.

I hear my echoes in the dark

but they don't amount to much.

But one slice never does.

 

Written October 15th, 2012

 

Little lust.

It's at times like this,

I make mistakes.

When the storm is just about

To break the surface.

Where at any moment I could

Let go.

I could surrender to this heat.

And don't we all need heat?

A little lust can be a dangerous thing.

Written August 10th 2012

Sadness Skin (buzz off)

Words on a fly,

Buzzing by,

They don't even try

But they hurt.

They sting.

A door opens

And sadness walks in.

And my world stops.

I am born again.

But I fight to shed this

Sadness skin.

This inner beast that never dies.

But she sleeps a dreamless sleep.

It only takes a tiny fly,

Careless and clueless,

To open her eye.

But she's belly up by morning

She's old, forgotten news.

She's that annoying alarm you set,

And you just keep hitting snooze.

-written June 24th 2012

Good Hearts

My brain ran away with the rain,

down the drain,

and now I can't complain.

Right?

I have a new life.

I can be anyone you like.

I have a heart

but it doesn't like back talk.

I have lips

but they have complicated needs.

I have hands

but they are full of bread.

I need a man that eats toast

for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I have joy in this life of mine.

She just likes to pull my leash.

She likes to see me struggle

before she shows her beautiful face.

And then I can breathe.

Breathing is good

for this heart of mine.

-written June 23 rd 2012

Grey

There are no words

to express

my despair.

My untied shoes

and my messy hair.

My "oh so" perfect

imperfections.

My growing belly

and manic directions.

I never get what I want

because I never know

what I want.

So sue me.

Come on Baby

make my day.

Just help me turn

this blue to grey.

-Written May 25th 2007

Big Bills

I've got a lot of problems

Sex in the garden

And I wake up in the morning

sunglasses still on.

I like to be forgotten

like keys hanging in the door

or pennies to a whore,

not even worth the bother...

Gimme them big bills boys.

Chew them up

and spit them out.

That's what girls

are all about.

-Written Feb.18th, 2012

Sleepless

I want to be brutally loved

by a brave, bold like man,

who says what he thinks

and thinks what he says.

and is nothing like this

lifeless existence

I live in my head.

tossing and turning,

willing hands upon my flesh.

Regrets get you no where,

believe me, I've tried

but I'm still wandering

and wanting,

tearing down these walls,

here inside my head.

in my heart.

in my mind.

-Written April 4th 2008

Written in a bar

If I never loved you,

Who would I be?

Would songs sound as sweet?

Would I still be me?

Moon beams bounce and reflect

and it all seems so sane

and later...anything but.

Would all this be,

if I did see,

If I didn't believe

in never giving up?

If I didn't believe

in us?

-Written January 7th 2012

Go ask your Mother

I'm a past tense bitch.

And the window beckons "escape"

the doors whisper "freedom"

but the tiny finger smudges remind me

I'm home.

I have this deep rooted feeling,

I'm wasting away.

A skinny tree bending to the wind

A seed flooded with water,

the children asking

"Why won't it grow?"

It's simple

it just wants to die.

-Written August 18th, 2011