Intentional Sabotage (Dead Rabbit)

I write you letters,

I will never send.

You will never read.

Just dead words on loose leaf.

I had an idea.

A tiny little seed,

and you offered up water

and a ray of light.

It started to take shape.

Roots and buds appeared

but you grew dark and dry

And killed it.

An intentional sabotage.

She's buried in the backyard now.

The evidence still under my nails.

And I think of you

when I stand there.

I think of that dead rabbit we saw,

while walking together

that May morning.

Chilly enough for a winter coat.

It was an obvious sign

but I was a giddy girl again

sneaking a boy out,

morning breathe,

frost on the grass

and I missed it till just now.

That should have told me something.

nothing good can come from dead rabbits.

You must have seen it coming

You must have sensed it too.

 

written June 18th 2014

Passing Thoughts

I just want something.

I don't know what.

A person,

A place,

A feeling.

I'm not sure.

I tell myself it won't happen again.

I'm getting over this.

The panic,

the balloon in my chest,

the surge of Hell that chokes me,

that knocks me off my feet,

And takes my breath away

And holds me still.

Squeezes the life from me,

Embraces me like a lover,

a smooth move I always fall for...

"Slice and dice" he whispers.

It's been too long.

 

written Feb 11th 2014

Birthday Murder

My body is a castle,

that has seen better days.

Flesh can hold a grudge.

My hesitation is only a crutch,

for I need a gentle heart

to unleash this flood.

You,

are a crude coward,

nursing a beer,

driving a dart.

You were only a means to an end,

nothing special,

never a start.

I wanted to believe your words

but like fireworks,

they fell apart.

And now it's just dark.

Your bite was nothing

compared to your bark.

 

written June 1st 2014