You know who you are

 You can’t say 

I never wrote you 

love poems 

I just had to lose you 

to be inspired

Written November 18th 2020

Old times sake

 If you showed up at my door 

I’d hate you 

but I’d let you hold me 

rip my scars open 

and let you lick them clean

I’d kiss away your tears 

and press my heart against yours 

I drink up your lies 

like I was dying of thirst 

and I may 

even believe them 

for old times sake

Written November 18th 2020

Me too

Your mistakes whitewash the walls 

mine are gunshot splatter 

I ate your lies up 

like a starving mutt 

and it killed me 

but you keep me embalmed with cold words

change is not change 

without fucking change 

I thought you’d be done by now

Written November 18th 2020

My bad

 

Choosing has always been 

difficult for me 

what if I pick someone else 

and I miss him 

what if I loathe 

what I hold in my hands

Written November 16th 2020

Nonbeliever

There’s no such thing as a clean cut,

a straight road, 

or a dumb mutt  

I live with ghosts 

I’m that unfinished business 

men always come back to 

an afterthought, 

a last resort, 

A hidden track you find by mistake 

years later 

a text message that’s six months late 

but I 

still respond with an exclamation mark

You could knock on my door

And stab me in the chest

And I’d still invite you in 

And apologize for bleeding  

Written October 2nd 2020

Baby

Driving while crying

Is my hidden talent

God you’ve made me good at that. 

Written June 29th 2020

Walking dead

I looked out my window tonight

To where you usually park your car

And there was nothing but space

Empty for your lies

A hole for my heart

A void for the love

I bet if I sit there 

In that exact spot 

I will simply 

Disappear...

It never was 

Written March 5th 2020