Hope in March

I have these inner demons

That I just can't seem to beat

And when I'm crawling on the floor

They stomp me with their feet

They're a cruel cruel breed

But they are all I know

They're my only friends

And they close the show.

I was expecting an encore

I was thinking this was more

I hope and pray

That this... turns into love

One day.

 

 

Shame on me (Change)

It's scary how people can change.

How people can change you.

How someone can make you feel

like a million bucks

And then the next second

like you've been hit by a bus.

How did you manage to open me up,

when I swore I was a tightly guarded box?

When I had made peace with myself

and my mind

and my heart?

When I knew that you and I

could never really start?

But you made me feel alive again,

if only for a while

And then changed....

A complete 180.

I hate when people

Change!

 

written March 18th 2013

 

 

Self destruct

I suffer in silence.

I know no other way.

My dark place is close now but

She never left,

not really.

I like to pretend I'm brave

But if I were,

I would simply end.

I would no longer exist.

Instead I linger in this hell

I created for myself.

I did this to myself.

I conjured up this demon.

And now I pray,

To one day be brave.

To one day, simply not exist.

Written March 12th 2013

Welcome Home Party

There I go again,

Sabotaging everything....

Unconsciously of course.

I know that girl in the mirror.

It's about time she came home.

I thought she was gone forever.

But congratulations,

you make me want to cut myself again.

Boy, you're raising up the dead,

you're fucking things up in my head,

you've conjured up the beast in my bed

And I'm unsure whenever to thank you

or spite you.

But it is what it is....

A welcome home party.

 

-written March 11th 2013