Why does everyone always leave?
I can't go thorough this again
I feel so blindsighted and discarded
So foolish for believing he was different
Everything you're feeling is valid
Allow it to flow through your veins
You are so brave
You have been on a long journey
And heartbreak is part of the path
But it hasn't hardened you
There is no ice encasing your heart
Love is never certain
It's a gamble we take with another
And you loved him with everything you had
Despite the wounds you carry
You should be proud of that
I want to let go but I don't know how
This is how it always goes
He gets overwhelmed and flees
I give him space, and he comes back to me.
But this time its different
This time he's gone
And i don't know how to move on
Its going to be ok sweet girl
There is no right way to heal a heart
You love in a profound way
Not only do you love the person
but you fall for the potential
You see underneath the mask
and love the parts they hide
Because they mirror the hurt in you
You want to grow together
and you dedicate yourself to that task
You give chance after chance
because you believe in your partner
You don’t give up because thats what you want from another
The little girl who had to prove herself
Wants someone to stay
So those fears go away
But self worth is not found that way
So you're mourning many things at once
And thats overwhelming
Be gentle with yourself
It may not feel like it
But you ARE overcoming
It kills to be left in this silence
Where all the what's ifs echo so loud
After 5 years I deserve a conversation
My best friend, my constant, my world
Just walked out
And its all so confusing
What was really going on
Inside his head, on his part
Because the last couple months
Were the best in my heart
I was opening up and bridging the gap
I was showing affection
Without that layer of shame
Making me feel undeserving
I was accepting and believing compliments
Without denying them away
I was living without the shadow of fear
Not worrying about the future
Being present in what's real
It was only getting stronger
I was emerging from my cocoon
A butterfly for real
The woman he wanted me to be
The woman he saw under the mask
The woman I knew I was if I dropped the energic traps
I carry from others insecurities
Then you did your part
You grew
You loved
The rest is out of your control
You looked in the mirror he held up
And you recognized yourself
Take comfort in that
Its hard to sit in the truth of who we truly are
You accept every part
The light pieces and the dark
The trauma and the innocence
The wrong and the right
You learned the art of forgiveness
You allowed yourself to open up
You allowed yourself to accept help.
You allowed yourself to feel love
And believe you deserve it
That is the lesson my love
And just because he didn't follow you
Does not mean you failed
He wasn"t ready to look at himself
But the love you share will remain
Underneath
Be thankful for all you gave each other
because deep down, you know he won't forget you.
First love stains the heart
Paint the walls inside a permanent shade.
And he will continue decorating and building around that tone
Your presence
Your memory
Your influence
Will live there forever
Your love gave him an incredible foundation.
And what he builds on top of it
Is now his decision
The same way he left a mark on your heart
One day you'll be able to smile at the relics
Remembering the good
letting all the rest fade away.
But What happens now
In this painful calm
In the unknown dark
In God's open palm
I'm afraid
To be alone
You feel it
You cry
You write
You sigh
You have heavy days
Downpours and storms
But you also get rainbows
And new things start to form
Everything happens for a reason.
Even if you can't see it
happening behind the curtain
Live in your authenticity
And watch what new energies come in
It won't happen overnight.
And that's the hardest part
The waiting for yourself to catch up
But be gentle with your heart
Don't force it
Don't distract it
Don't avoid it.
Instead sit with yourself
Look it in the eyes
Do the things you love
Be curious about the feelings that surface
But always forgive yourself
Be confident in your growth
And know somewhere out there
Is someone that matches your frequency
When the dust settles
They'll emerge from the rubble
Happiness awaits on the other side
of this trouble.
We are only given obstacles
We know we can overcome
Because ultimately, you chose this
And the contract you signed is done
So you haven't failed anyone
And it may be hard to hear
But neither has he
You both perfected the steps to the dance
You were learning
And now it 's time to leave
The bar is closing
The lights are coming on
and your eyes are readjusting
And just because he's not
where are you left him
Does it mean he didn't learn a lesson
And I know you're uncomfortable
Because conflict is uncertain
But deep down, he's hurting.
And learning discernment
And you have to let him
That's your part of the agreement
So hold on to him in your heart
And pray that he eventually plays his part
And grows into the man
You knew he could be
Your love planted a seed
And only time will tell what kind of tree
It turns out to be
Strong solid
fruit bearing
Shade giving
Tire swing holding
Deeply rooted
Or barren and weak
Breaking with each season
Avoiding admiration.
Lacking, real connection
Hiding in surface level activation
But your days of tending
To that garden
Have come to an end
And you have to let him try his hand
At maintaining
What you both started growing
Inside his spiritual,awakening
He will overcome his fear of rejection
He will learn to love his reflection
And he will blossom open
When its his time
But this time built for you
is now ending
Releasing without resentment
is so freeing
And that my girl is true love
Unconditional
Powerful
Legendary love
That never dies
But transforms
And changes the world
Walk forward knowing
Everything will be ok
Maybe not today
But soon
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