changing

Its an amazing thing

When you surprise yourself

I thought I was standing still

But turns out I'm miles ahead 

Watching old shows 

With Old crushes 

what was i thinking 

Holy shit I've changed. 

I can stop my ego 

And negotiate.

I can receive flowers

And shine

I can be accepting of feedback 

And graciously apologize

I can let you be right 

When you point out a controlling behavior

I can separate that bad stomach feeling 

That activates when I get attention 

From the gentleman 

that kneels down 

on one knee

Because its not about him 

But the trauma 

saying im not deserving.

Of Holding hands in the car

Kissing on video 

Drawing hearts on his windshield

I can be the woman 

I long to be 

Holy shit 

I'm changing.